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 Post subject: Motorcycle humor
PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 3:01 pm 
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paso grand pooh-bah
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Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:00 am
Posts: 707
Location: CNY, US
model: 750 Paso
year: 1988
I'll start it off with something the Brit bikers should enjoy ...

LUCUS JOKES

The Lucas Light Switch has three positions: Dim, Flicker, and Off or Smoke, Smolder and Burn.

Lucas: Prince of Darkness

Lucas: Father of the Intermittent Wiper

Why do the Brits drink warm beer? They have Lucas refrigerators!

Did you hear the one about the failed British space mission? when the astronauts saw that all the electronics were by Lucas they ran screaming off the launch pad.

I have had a Lucas Pacemaker for years and never had any trou...

How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.

It is not true that Lucas systems use AC current; it just has a random frequency that's all.

It is not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

Lucus QA called and told the engineer they had trouble with his design shorting out so he made the wires longer.

Lucus is coming out with a Bra for the E-type. Only drawbacks are that it sags, only comes with spikes, and only comes in an E-cup.

Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new Volkswagens. So, now the cars from the Black Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness -- how appropriate!

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken, and walk 3 time sunwise around your car chanting "Oh, mighty Prince protect your unworthy servant..."

_________________
Just because you're not dead doesn't necessarily mean you're living, either.
1988 Paso 750 #753965
1997 Monster 750


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 4:21 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 12:00 am
Posts: 244
Location: Dexter, MI USA
model: 907 I.E.
year: 1991
A guy has been stranded on a desert island for about 10 years. one day he sees something coming up the beach towards him... it's a beautiful blonde in a wetsuit.

They meet. She asks "how long have you been here?"

Ten years, he says.

"How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

Oh, it's been about ten years he says.

So she unzips a pocket on her wetsuit, and pulls out a bag with cigs in it. They light up...

"How long has it been since you've had a drink?"

Oh, that's been about ten years too, he says.

So she unzips another pocket on her wetsuit and pulls out a flask.

They have a couple drinks, and the blonde looks at him and says "How long has it been since you've had a little... fun?" she asks.

Ten years he says.

With that she starts slowly unzipping the front of her wetsuit.

The guy's eyes get huge. "Oh my God" he says... "Don't tell me youve got a MOTORCYCLE in there too!"

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-Craig
Team YIKES! Motorsports


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