Motorcycle humor
Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 3:01 pm
I'll start it off with something the Brit bikers should enjoy ...
LUCUS JOKES
The Lucas Light Switch has three positions: Dim, Flicker, and Off or Smoke, Smolder and Burn.
Lucas: Prince of Darkness
Lucas: Father of the Intermittent Wiper
Why do the Brits drink warm beer? They have Lucas refrigerators!
Did you hear the one about the failed British space mission? when the astronauts saw that all the electronics were by Lucas they ran screaming off the launch pad.
I have had a Lucas Pacemaker for years and never had any trou...
How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.
It is not true that Lucas systems use AC current; it just has a random frequency that's all.
It is not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.
Lucus QA called and told the engineer they had trouble with his design shorting out so he made the wires longer.
Lucus is coming out with a Bra for the E-type. Only drawbacks are that it sags, only comes with spikes, and only comes in an E-cup.
Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new Volkswagens. So, now the cars from the Black Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness -- how appropriate!
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken, and walk 3 time sunwise around your car chanting "Oh, mighty Prince protect your unworthy servant..."
LUCUS JOKES
The Lucas Light Switch has three positions: Dim, Flicker, and Off or Smoke, Smolder and Burn.
Lucas: Prince of Darkness
Lucas: Father of the Intermittent Wiper
Why do the Brits drink warm beer? They have Lucas refrigerators!
Did you hear the one about the failed British space mission? when the astronauts saw that all the electronics were by Lucas they ran screaming off the launch pad.
I have had a Lucas Pacemaker for years and never had any trou...
How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.
It is not true that Lucas systems use AC current; it just has a random frequency that's all.
It is not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.
Lucus QA called and told the engineer they had trouble with his design shorting out so he made the wires longer.
Lucus is coming out with a Bra for the E-type. Only drawbacks are that it sags, only comes with spikes, and only comes in an E-cup.
Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new Volkswagens. So, now the cars from the Black Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness -- how appropriate!
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken, and walk 3 time sunwise around your car chanting "Oh, mighty Prince protect your unworthy servant..."