ducatipaso.org

Stolen from another site but worth the the theft co's it's so true

This is the world we live in now..........................if you are British that is

Question:
How do you tell the difference between a UK Police Officer, an Australian
Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

Answer:
Pose the following situation:
THE SCENARIO

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,
and raises the knife and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?'


UK Police Officer's Answer:

1) Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
2) Does the man look poor or oppressed?
3) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to
attack?
4) Could we run away?
5) Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife
out of his hand?
6) What does the law say about this situation?
7) Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message
does this send to society and to my children?
9) Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?
12) Should I call 9-9-9?
13) Why is this street so deserted?
14) We need to raise taxes, have a paint-and-weed day and make this
a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour?
15) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away; do I get blamed
when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?
16) If I shoot him, and lose the court case, does he have the
opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will
lose my family home?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Australian Officer's Answer:


1) BANG!


----------------------------------------------------------------------

American Officer's Answer:



1) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click....(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!!!!!!!!!!!

Click.

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?

we aussies are direct !

For the UK you left off:

Safety Glasses
Hearing protection for all involved (including the bad guy)
Bright Yellow reflective safety vests
Diversion signs

OK OK I'm a little slow

I've only just found this but . . . englishstiv I owe you BEER! Lots of beer. Being an English lawyer and having had a long term affair with a Ozzie and visited Oz and having lived in the USA and married a Dixie chick that joke meant a lot to me.

Cheeks still wet from tears running down them

Thank you Thank you Thank you

If we meet on a Paso run (this year?) the first few beers are on me

I heard that in heaven, the police are English, the cooks are French, and the engineers are German; and in hell, the police are German, the cooks are English, and the engineers are French.

Skins wrote:

I heard that in heaven, the police are English, the cooks are French, and the engineers are German; and in hell, the police are German, the cooks are English, and the engineers are French.

this reminds me of a hell joke...this guy goes to hell, and looks around and sees this chap with a wine barrell under one arm and a gorgeous woman under the other, he turns to the devil and says...if this is hell, I think Im going to love it here...the devil replies...its not what it seems, the wine barrell has a hole in it, and the woman doesnt!

"I heard that in heaven, the police are English, the cooks are French, and the engineers are German; and in hell, the police are German, the cooks are English, and the engineers are French."

You've forgotten to mention the bureaucrats and the lovers: In heaven the bureaucrats are Swiss and the lovers are Italian, of course in hell the bureaucrats are Italian and the lovers are Swiss.

My apologies in advance.

Actually englishstiv now that I think about it

If the UK police officer is carrying a pistol he's breaking the law and will have to arrest himself. The standard British bobby is not permitted to carry firearms (yet)! Thank God.

In Texas, it would be multiple glocks firing from the concerned citizens packin heat.

Ah Texas . . .

Walk softly and carry a big stick

Walk softly and carry a big stick

Nope, silver clad alligator boots, and concealed weapons
every truck has a gun rack in plain view............
don't forget the 10 gallon Stetson

randtcastell wrote:You've forgotten to mention the bureaucrats and the lovers: In heaven the bureaucrats are Swiss and the lovers are Italian, of course in hell the bureaucrats are Italian and the lovers are Swiss.

My apologies in advance.

I was worrying that in heaven there were'nt Italians...
Ciao

Well Francesco if some of the Popes are anything to go by . . .

What's really cool is that we finally have ammo specifically designed for those pesty, undead vermin....

http://www.hornady.com/ammunition/zombiemax